Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family by Richard Carlson

Author:Richard Carlson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hachette Books
Published: 2013-05-20T16:00:00+00:00

49.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE UNIQUE HARDSHIPS OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS

We all know that life can, at times, be overwhelming. However, it’s much easier to spot and acknowledge our own sources of feeling overwhelmed than it is to see the problems of the others in our family. For example, if you work outside the home and your spouse (husband or wife) is at home, it may be tempting to focus on, and discuss, the difficulties of your day but remain somewhat indifferent or oblivious to the difficulties of your spouse. Or the reverse may be true. You may be absorbed in how difficult it is to be at home with the kids but lose sight of the fact that it’s also stressful and difficult to work away from the house all day long. It’s even easier to forget that children and teens have their own struggles that are very real to them. The fact that it’s difficult to understand why life seems so challenging to our younger family members doesn’t mean that those problems aren’t real—they are.

How often have you heard the expression “He/she just doesn’t understand me?” This statement is extremely common when wives and husbands discuss their spouses with friends. It’s even more common when kids are discussing their parents with their friends. Sadly, many family members feel all alone, as if no one within their family truly understands them.

This is a relatively easy problem to overcome. The solution is to become more compassionate and to try to put yourself in the shoes of your family members—your husband, wife, kids, parents, or siblings. Try to imagine what it’s like to be your husband, wife, child, or other family member. See if you can understand the unique challenges they face. Imagine how difficult it would be to be in their shoes. I have found that in all cases you’ll find that their lives are not quite as easy as they may appear on the surface.

I’m not suggesting you start commiserating with your family members or that you put an overemphasis on the problems in your family. Rather, I’m suggesting that you become a better listener and more compassionate to those you love. Doing so will reduce your own stress levels by reminding you that you’re not alone in your struggles. It will also assist everyone in your family in reducing their stress levels as well. The simple act of genuine and caring acknowledgment is a source of healing and comfort, particularly when it comes from someone you love.

One of the surest ingredients of bringing two family members closer together is the feeling of being understood and listened to. Rather than focusing on your own challenges and burdens, try to be more compassionate to the issues of others. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your feelings of closeness will return and how much less frequently you’ll be sweating the small stuff.

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